united masking of cotton
Creative Commons License photo credit: og2t // ou gee tew tee

by The Cellulite Analyst,  The Cellulite Investigation blogger

Despite the fact that over 90 percent of American women have cellulite, that doesn’t mean cellulite is “normal.”  Yes, it’s normal in the sense that the statistical majority of American women have it these days.  But not in the sense that cellulite is the normal state of the female body –as if cellulite is our grim and lumpy destiny. 

Unfortunately for us, Dr. Weston Price didn’t document the occurrence of cellulite in the non-industrialized societies that he encountered.  The term cellulite didn’t even enter the American lexicon until several decades later, so our dear Dr. Price is off the hook for that one.  But we are left to wonder, is cellulite “a disease of civilization” à la obesity and varicose veins?

I won’t get into the gruesome details, but my interest (i.e. compulsive obsession) with finding an effective treatment for cellulite began with a dramatic run-in involving a fitting room, a mirror, and an upcoming milestone birthday.  It wasn’t a pretty scene.

Enter Dr. Oz.  According to America’s favorite doc, cellulite is harmless and genetic, treatments don’t work, and guys don’t care about it anyway so just move on.  Desperate for a more optimistic second opinion, I hit the Internet.  On websites and blogs all over the Internet, women were raving about the miraculous powers of dry brushing for cellulite reduction.  Faced with a preponderance of anecdotal evidence (and because it was cheap), I decided to give dry brushing a try.

After just two weeks, the results were undeniable.  Cellulite isn’t untreatable after all!  Hallelujahs and much rejoicing followed.  It’s hard to imagine how brushing the surface of the skin could have any effect on the fat cells underneath, but after further research, it makes perfect sense.  Here’s the theory.

Cellulite isn’t a normal part of the aging process and it’s not a genetic inevitability.  Cellulite is a symptom of a lymphatic disorder!  The lymphatic system is commonly referred to as the “sewage disposal system” for your cells.  When it is overwhelmed with excess waste that it can’t process through normal channels, lymphatic congestion results.  When this excess fluid is located in subcutaneous fat (the fat attached to your skin through a network of connective tissue), the fat cells bulge up underneath the skin.  And there you have it.  Cellulite is born.

You don’t have to take my word for it.  I’m just a lonely cellulite victim trying to do her part to save the world (and her own behind) from the dreaded blight of cellulite.  But the lymph theory of cellulite has been circulating in alternative healthcare circles since before Nicole Ronsard’s 1973 bestseller “Cellulite: Those Lumps, Bumps, and Bulges You Couldn’t Lose Before.”  The research of French physician Dr. Bruno Chikly, one of the world’s foremost experts on the lymphatic system, supports the lymph theory of cellulite as well.  Clearly, this alternative understanding of cellulite deserves further investigation.

If over 90 percent of American women have cellulite, that means that over 90 percent of American women are suffering from a degree of lymphatic disorder.  What could possibly be disrupting the female lymphatic system on such a grand scale?  I will leave the readers of Ms. Hartke’s blog to draw their own conclusions.

P.S. –My sister-in-law, a farmer’s wife in Western Pennsylvania, vows that dry brushing also alleviates her lifelong allergies.  She won’t go two days without indulging in her dry brushing ritual.

As her moniker implies, the CELLULITE ANALYST is a professional analyst specializing in the subject of cellulite.  To learn more about dry brushing or her global cellulite inquiry, check out www.CelluliteInvestigation.com.

Cellulite Secrets--Tell Yours!

Cellulite Secrets--Tell Yours!

This post is part of the Natural Cures blog carnival, please add your ideas in the comments below, or submit your blog posts on conquering unsightly cellulite to kim.hartke at gmail.com.