A Natural Cure for Cellulite? Seriously??

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Creative Commons License photo credit: og2t // ou gee tew tee

by The Cellulite Analyst,  The Cellulite Investigation blogger

Despite the fact that over 90 percent of American women have cellulite, that doesn’t mean cellulite is “normal.”  Yes, it’s normal in the sense that the statistical majority of American women have it these days.  But not in the sense that cellulite is the normal state of the female body –as if cellulite is our grim and lumpy destiny. 

Unfortunately for us, Dr. Weston Price didn’t document the occurrence of cellulite in the non-industrialized societies that he encountered.  The term cellulite didn’t even enter the American lexicon until several decades later, so our dear Dr. Price is off the hook for that one.  But we are left to wonder, is cellulite “a disease of civilization” à la obesity and varicose veins?

I won’t get into the gruesome details, but my interest (i.e. compulsive obsession) with finding an effective treatment for cellulite began with a dramatic run-in involving a fitting room, a mirror, and an upcoming milestone birthday.  It wasn’t a pretty scene.

Enter Dr. Oz.  According to America’s favorite doc, cellulite is harmless and genetic, treatments don’t work, and guys don’t care about it anyway so just move on.  Desperate for a more optimistic second opinion, I hit the Internet.  On websites and blogs all over the Internet, women were raving about the miraculous powers of dry brushing for cellulite reduction.  Faced with a preponderance of anecdotal evidence (and because it was cheap), I decided to give dry brushing a try.

After just two weeks, the results were undeniable.  Cellulite isn’t untreatable after all!  Hallelujahs and much rejoicing followed.  It’s hard to imagine how brushing the surface of the skin could have any effect on the fat cells underneath, but after further research, it makes perfect sense.  Here’s the theory.

Cellulite isn’t a normal part of the aging process and it’s not a genetic inevitability.  Cellulite is a symptom of a lymphatic disorder!  The lymphatic system is commonly referred to as the “sewage disposal system” for your cells.  When it is overwhelmed with excess waste that it can’t process through normal channels, lymphatic congestion results.  When this excess fluid is located in subcutaneous fat (the fat attached to your skin through a network of connective tissue), the fat cells bulge up underneath the skin.  And there you have it.  Cellulite is born.

You don’t have to take my word for it.  I’m just a lonely cellulite victim trying to do her part to save the world (and her own behind) from the dreaded blight of cellulite.  But the lymph theory of cellulite has been circulating in alternative healthcare circles since before Nicole Ronsard’s 1973 bestseller “Cellulite: Those Lumps, Bumps, and Bulges You Couldn’t Lose Before.”  The research of French physician Dr. Bruno Chikly, one of the world’s foremost experts on the lymphatic system, supports the lymph theory of cellulite as well.  Clearly, this alternative understanding of cellulite deserves further investigation.

If over 90 percent of American women have cellulite, that means that over 90 percent of American women are suffering from a degree of lymphatic disorder.  What could possibly be disrupting the female lymphatic system on such a grand scale?  I will leave the readers of Ms. Hartke’s blog to draw their own conclusions.

P.S. –My sister-in-law, a farmer’s wife in Western Pennsylvania, vows that dry brushing also alleviates her lifelong allergies.  She won’t go two days without indulging in her dry brushing ritual.

As her moniker implies, the CELLULITE ANALYST is a professional analyst specializing in the subject of cellulite.  To learn more about dry brushing or her global cellulite inquiry, check out www.CelluliteInvestigation.com.

Cellulite Secrets--Tell Yours!

This post is part of the Natural Cures blog carnival, please add your ideas in the comments below, or submit your blog posts on conquering unsightly cellulite to kim.hartke at gmail.com.


  1. GREAT! Just bought my brush. I’m ready!
    .-= Local Nourishment´s last blog ..Subway poised to overtake McD’s =-.

  2. LN-

    Good for you! Be sure to let me know how it works out!

    .-= Cellulite Analyst´s last blog ..The Acne Connection: Cellulite, Cystic Acne, and Lymph Drainage Therapy =-.

  3. That is awesome! Makes a lot of sense. I think we have a lot of issues with lymphatic stagnation, incl. breast cancer. I will look into the dry brushing.
    .-= Lisa Z´s last blog ..A 10-year old Daughter =-.

  4. I think it isn’t easy to get rid of cellulite but its “unsightlyness” can be reduced by eating the right food. Chlorophyll (chlorella) can help “melt and sweep away” the hardened fats.

    Btw, I wished I had read this before penning my Top 10 Futuristic Medicines but there’s one for the overweight there! Check it out here: http://su.pr/1WY9V8
    Please sit on a steady chair before clicking on that link. 😉
    .-= kelly´s last undefined ..If you register your site for free at =-.

  5. Kimberly Hartke says:

    Interesting Kelly, thanks for this new idea about chlorophyll! Doesn’t that come in green veggies, too? Perhaps if folks were eating more of those this would not be such an issue??


  6. I totally agree with all the facts you have mentioned. Cellulite is very common nowadays and more than 90% of the women face this problem. However, common really doesn’t mean normal. This is a problem caused by the ‘civilization’ we know. Cellulite can be caused by hormone imbalance, disorder of lymphatic system, unhealthy lifestyle such as alcohol and smoking, genetic issues and others.

    Most people think that obesity is the main cause. However, people also found that more slim girls are getting it too. There are no cure for it but many ways to relieve it. Massage, exercise and healthy diet can be an effective and natural way to relief it. Some creams are claimed to be able to solve the problem but most of them will support the lymphatic system, burn the fats around those areas and improve blood circulations.

  7. the occurance of cellulite definitely has something to do with our western lifestyle and eating habits. Do you think 90% of the Japanese or Thai women have cellulite. In a some cases cellulite is passed through the genes, but it’s mostly lifestyle factors. Which explains the sluggishness of our lymph drainage systems. Dry brushing makes a lot of sense, I am going to trial it for 2 weeks and get some of my close friends to do it too.

    .-= Jess´s last blog ..Is There Really An Anti Cellulite Treatment That Works? =-.

  8. Aww! cellulite is really maddening. I have once contemplated on surgical procedures to remove my cellulite, but I am really afraid of needles and knife, so I refused them. Additionally, there are so many consumer reports about women being seriously scarred or injurred also. Once into the hype creams and lotion, so every time I heard about a certain products that claimed to be very effective for cellulite, I will jumped on it. Until I realized, I am wasting much money and on it. I gave up.

    Uncomfortable endermologie services are making me mad. So, I really stopped. I discover this article about cellulite and it really helped me understand more about what I am dealing with. First line of defense, information about it. Here, I just want to share it http://bit.ly/14TLBYf

  9. I am 66 and hesitate to wear sleeveless clothing. I wanted to find something to smooth my arms. Cellulite serum of dermalmd is doing it! My skin isn’t perfect, but it’s better and I’m ready to wear sleeveless shirts. I also use it on the back of my hands to tighten the skin. I really don’t have a problem with cellulite on my legs and haven’t used it there. But I am very happy with how my arms and hands look now.


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